A new life maybe?

Have I met the man of my dreams? Maybe, he is what I have always dreamt of in a man, but he lives in another country; a country unlikely to have immigration connections with Australia. Where may you ask have I found my dream man? Ghana. Oh I know what you are saying and thinking. They are all just wanting to find a gullible white man to get money from him and any others they can seduce. You are right, and I am very wary of this. But I met Peter by accident on line one night when I was feeling lonely and maybe a bit fragile. He instantly appealed to me and the more I chatted to him the more my heart went out to him.

Peter is an apprentice motor mechanic with 6 months left to go before he becomes a Master mechanic. I too am a motor mechanic by trade, so he instantly got my attention. He is 24 years old and I am 63. When I asked him why he was looking for an older man, his response was as most respond; looking for the father figure. Do I want a son or do I want a lover? Can he be both for me? I think he can, so I talked more with him. When we signed off, I checked out property in Accra in Ghana and found that the rental market was well priced for a retiree on a small pension. Could I live in Ghana with a younger man and be happy? I have decided to take a chance and head to Ghana for a short trip and see what it can offer me for both housing and lifestyle. It would also be good to be able to find out what level of love Peter can offer me or if he was just playing the field.

As we get older we seek love and companionship if we do not have that already. Nobody wants to die alone. I want to be remembered by somebody who loved me for who I was; a gay man looking and wanting love and willing to offer that to a man for his love, friendship and companionship in my later years.

Losing friends

Recently a dear friend of mine decided to move lock stock and barrel from his comfortable home in Australia to Chang Mai in Thailand. On a recent visit to the city, he had met the man of his dreams and decided he just had to spend the rest of his life with him. Being a Thai national, and over 45 years old, this man could not enter and live in Australia, so my friend had to live in Thailand.

Socially, we were great friends and had been lovers in times past. But this move would break our friendship apart. We usually met often, went to movies or art shows together, dined out regularly and basically were the friends who you could rely on for company and a shoulder to cry on when the need arose. But his move will break all that. Oh sure we can always get together on short visits, but will the friendship remain strong? Your lives change to your surroundings so your dependence also changes. For me my life will change dramatically as for me my social life will alter. For my friend, his life will change to finding new social contacts in Chang Mai.

I am a workaholic and my friend was the difference between working and socialising, making sure I did not work or placed on a weekend roster so I could socialise. Now, well work will take precedence over social. I just have to find a good man like my friend and have a LTR to bring me back to a social life once again. Any offers guys? 

Gaydar

Most gay men say they can spot a gay man a mile off; Gaydar being their usual method. Do gay men really have gaydar? Is it the way the other man walks or talks? Is it the way he smells sending your senses reeling? Maybe it is a look he gives you as you walk down the street or while drinking at a bar? Whatever it is most gay men say they have it. Personally for me it is the way they hold themselves, their eyes looking you up and down.

I often see men watch me and give me the eyes over as I walk through town. It is not my clothes, for usually I am in work clothes or my drivers uniform. But I can see their eyes and they often meet and you can see an attraction. These are the guys looking for action but not a relationship. They want sex not love. I am all for sex but I like passion with sex and guys just looking for sex, have no passion in them. They are just sexual animals looking to relieve themselves. They are usually young guys with a sex drive beyound their capacity to satisfy, balls bursting for relief and they don't care how or where. As you get older and more mature, you look for something other than a quick suck or fuck, something that has more of a meaning.

So next time your eyes meet on some great looking guy in the street or at a bar, think of what you are really looking for. Are you looking for sex or passion?

Friends

Being a gay man is not easy. The world is against you 100%, even family can disown you. That is why gay friends are so important. They provide the shoulder to cry on when times are tough, people to celebrate with when it is your birthday, or you have a chieved the impossible. They are your sounding board when a relationship is teetering on the brink. They are the voice of reason.

Friends are forever, boy friends come and go. Well maybe some boy friends stay and become lifelong partners but this is few and far between as gay relationships are known for their brevity. But if you look at your friends, you will find you have 2 or 3 really good friends you know you can count on 24 hours a day. These are your lifeline, so don't ever lose them.

Authors

There are not many gay authors but I recently found one whose writings I love. He has several books available through Amazon and Kindle. His name is Phillip Lesbirel and he writes mostly fetish books and in particular skinhead books, but his recent releases 'Daniel', 'Fighting Dog' and 'Not Black, Not White' are great and I have read all 3. He has also written about the taboo subject of Diaper lovers and the Adult Baby scene. Worth looking up his list of books in Amazon, here is the URL

http://www.amazon.com/Phillip-Lesbirel/e/B005IZQBO6

My passengers

As you may all know, I am a bus driver. My passengers come from many walks of life but mostly from the working class and lower social classes. I am always amazed at how many men my gaydar picks up when they enter my bus and are confirmed when they exit. Many gay men do not drive. I don't know why this is so, but it is a fact; gay men don't or seldom drive.

Sometimes I get a nod or a wink, sometimes a kind word or a look of recognition. Some I would like to know better but how do I let them know without coming straight out and telling them they have a nice ass or those lips are very kissable. No I wouldn't do that for fear of embarassing them but there must be a way. When I find it I will let you know. maybe I should get a deoderant that smells like a man's spunk and see if there is any reaction. Now I digress.

Anyway, if you get on my bus and like what you see, just say 'Hi, great to see you again, how about coffee one night?' then I am sure you will get my mobile number.

questioning

Recently I became involved with a man who was questioning his sexuality. I have never met this man but we have struck up this relationship through FaceBook. Originally he threatened my life for being gay and for my thoughts in books and blogs I had written. He had a WP (White Power) look on life and a perchace to violence. Many would have had him banned from Facebook for his comments but I felt he needed to have contact and not to be ignored. Now I consider him a good friend, maybe not in his thinking, I don't think that will ever change, but he was a man who needed help and guidence. He was questioning his sexuality and found that although he had girlfriends he could not relate to them.

After 18 months of contact he is now willing to accept he is gay. He is, of course, scared of the repercussions of coming out so we must consider him closeted. I have no dought he will eventually come out but he needs to find a man he loves and the suport of that man to allow himself to be who he really is and the suport for when he is outcaste from his family and friends who are all WP and Nationalistic in their outlook. He is young and he is scared but I admire him because he has finally found himself. He has looked past the teachings and persuations of his upbringing and accepted himself for what he is, a gay man.